30 Days of Truth Challenge – Day 6

Day 6:  Something you hope you never have to do.

Boy, they really don’t make these challenges easy, do they?

My rule with this challenge has been to go with whatever my first gut answer is to the Day’s question.  So, my answer today is that I hope I never have to break someone’s heart again.  That may sound shallow or self-serving, but I promise you it’s sincere.

I know that I have hurt people in my life, and those actions and their consequences truly haunt me.  I’m not talking about small offenses or the kinds of momentary hurts that we all shrug off almost immediately.  No, I am talking about the kind of pain that is life changing and heart-altering.  Indeed, my nightmares of late seem to be a catalog of apologies that I cannot possibly offer enough, wrongs that cannot be righted.  For the most part, I have not been callous or cold in my life, and I can offer arguably justifiable reasons for many of my actions that hurt others.  But in my heart I believe that we are responsible for all the pain we cause, justified or not, and that the tally of heartbreak we accrue in our lifetime will come back upon us at a later time.

Having said that, it’s not some fear of karmic retribution or hellish damnation that drives my sense of remorse.  And I don’t actually believe that anyone is anywhere in this world hating my guts or cursing my name.  I think my remorse is simply an evolving understanding of how harmful some hurts are and how difficult it is to fix them in any real sense of the word.

To the extent that I can, I have offered sincere apologies to everyone that I can. But knowing how deeply some of my own emotional injuries go, I know that I cannot erase the pain of another.  I am grateful when an apology is accepted, but I know that the past cannot be changed and the wounds still bear scars.

So, while I know I will screw up and do the wrong thing sometimes, I do most deeply hope that my screw-ups don’t ever result in true and deep heartbreak for another person.  Ever, ever again.

im-sorry

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3 Comments

Filed under 30 Days of Truth Challenge

3 responses to “30 Days of Truth Challenge – Day 6

  1. Everybody causes pain — we start out in life that way (sorry Mom!). But I cut the folks who hurt me some slack (and hope they do the same for me.). Those broken hearts I suffered allowed me to get over men I needed to get over, so that I could end up with the man who has made me pretty happy instead of the one who would have made me miserable.

    I do love your take on the 30 day challenge. I find these challenges interesting and often people’s takes on them are well worth reading — but every day???? Every day is challenging for just about everyone. So I love the way you’re doing it! You give me the time to read and consider what you’ve written. Smarter than the average bear, you are!

    • Thanks for the boost, Elyse! I really just don’t have time to write every single day anymore, and I’m not sure I could do this challenge every day anyway! It’s brutal!!

      • So you chose to do it on your own terms — perfect! As a reader, I appreciate it. When someone writes stuff, like you do, that I want to read, I can’t always manage it every day. So really, while the subjects of the challenges are often great, I dread it when I see someone I like take one on. Except you!!!

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