second date decisions

Second dates are like the ugly step-child of the dating world.  First dates get all the butterflies, and third dates get the naughty fun, but second dates… well they’re kind of just a placeholder it seems.

Except for me.

Second dates are a big deal to me.  I’m the Queen of First Dates.  Not many guys get to the second date stage.  And if you get to a third date with me, you’re almost assured of some kind of a continuing relationship.   I don’t do this on purpose, exactly.  In fact, I didn’t realize that I did it until a guy friend pointed it out to me after my divorce.  It just seems to take me roughly two dates to decide how I feel about someone.

My friends will attest that it’s not because I’m an overly harsh judge of people; I just know fairly quickly if I connect with someone.  Remember the scene from “When Harry Met Sally” in which the old lady explains that she “just knew” that her husband was The One, “the way you know about a good melon”?  Well, that’s me.  I pick my men like I pick my melons.

The second date tends to be the tipping point for me.  This is definitely not a hard-and-fast rule, but usually after the second date I have a pretty good idea of whether there’s enough of something there to continue exploring.  The times that I have felt “No, I don’t think so” and have persisted anyway have usually blown up in my face in spectacular fashion.  So, I’ve learned to trust that instinct.

I have two second dates in the next week.  Both Mr. Marathon and Mr. Airplane made it past the first date.  Both have my attention enough to warrant a second date, but not enough to issue a verdict.  Both are clearly interested thus far.  Both are nice and interesting and successful and smart and seem (as best I can tell on initial inspection) to be good melons.  But is there that special “something”?  That elusive something that sets one man apart from all the others of your acquaintance?  That something that makes you want to know everything about this person, inside and out?  That something that makes you wonder if, just maybe, this melon is The One?

I don’t know yet.  But I’ll bet I do a week from now.



Filed under dating, internet dating, love, relationships, single mom

4 responses to “second date decisions

  1. I love a good melon! 🙂
    Here’s to second dates and checking for ripeness, er, uh, compatability…

  2. My infallible trick for melons is to pick one which shows signs of cracks around the no-stalk end. That, and a good smell…;)

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