My friend Annie has a new man in her life, and yesterday she got an email from him, a portion of which read:
I feel like inviting you to join me in lots of my plans lately, but am also trying very hard to just take things slowly and get to know you.
He is wanting more of her than he can have right now. Her life is so busy and her obligations so many that their time has been limited to relatively brief, platonic meetings. But he is clearly not okay with that. When the chemistry is right, there is no such thing as “out of sight, out of mind.”
Annie shared his words with me with obvious delight and I couldn’t help but smile. I mean, really, is there anything better than knowing that the thought of you is playing about in a man’s mind? That he’s wanting to see you, talk to you, spend time with you? That, perhaps against his basic nature or better judgment or emotional baggage, he is longing for more of you than he’s getting? That the thought of you is bringing a random smile to his lips, a faraway look to his eyes, a tightness to his jeans….
To me, it’s one of the most wonderfully delicious parts of a new relationship… that you’re-on-my-mind-constantly-and-it’s-making-me-crazy period when you both act a bit like ridiculous teenagers with raging hormones and romantic-comedy-inspired thoughts of true love and perfect sex. This is the period when I sigh at the sound of his voice and giggle when I think of something funny he said and flush with the thoughts of what he did to me last night. Nothing reduces me to a quivering mass of femininity more quickly than when a man says, “So, when are you going to let me see you again?” Makes me want to swoon. Seriously.
One of the pleasant surprises to me about dating this time around is how sustainable this period can be, when connection and chemistry really are right. To me, this is one of the joys of dating in my 40’s. With neither party in a rush to the altar, the courtship can last so much longer and be so much more fun. Of course, not every relationship that starts with such promise survives, sometimes not even beyond the first few dates, but the ones that do are really special and fun and sweet.
Annie and her guy are still too new to make any predictions about their eventual outcome. But for now, he’s busy staking his claim on her time, and she’s busy enjoying being claimed.